Formosa by Tien-Hsiang Mo
The chickens are anxious in their cages, their heads bobbing up and down, back and forth, waiting for their day of execution. The narrow street is lit with thousands of naked bulbs, strung up in crooked, zigzagging lines. The air is perfumed with the rich smell of oyster pancakes, called “oh ah jian.” Oh, how I miss these unfamiliar sights—so foreign, yet so familiar all at once.
Taiwan, the Republic of China, once known to the Portuguese as “Formosa,” is a tropical island populated by ex-mainlanders from China, tourists from the West, and native “Pai-Wan” mountain folks. Taiwan is my comfort when I’m in pain, my home when I’m lost, my hope when I’m desolate. When the corrections officers call for chow, I dream of the night markets, my cousins seated around a table laden with scallion pancakes and steaming bowls of handmade noodles. I wake up thinking about the muggy, tropical island weather versus this arid valley air I am confined in behind these brick walls. I miss the din and chaos with aunts, uncles, and cousins all speaking in unison. I miss getting bit by a thousand mosquitoes and sleeping on a bamboo mat (yes, it really does keep you cooler).
When porters sweep around the razor fences, I imagine Ah-mahs sweeping their storefronts, hawking betel nuts. As a corrections officer rides his tricycle up and down the yard, he morphs into a flash of a family of three on a single moped, weaving in and out of traffic. A plastic tray coming down the line filled with prison mush transforms into wafts of stinky tofu tickling my nose. These are the times when nostalgia overwhelms all my senses; ordinary, everyday activities in prison trigger my memories of Taiwan. It is how I carry on after being in prison for the past twenty years; I replace, imagine, and survive on memories of my homeland.
Formosa is the country I identify with; that is the country that whispers my name. Thirty-five years in the United States has only made me wish my next 35 years will be spent abroad. My name is Tien-Hsiang Mo, 牟天香, and I hope to see my beautiful island again.
TIEN-HSIANG MO would love to travel the world one day. There is so much she hasn’t seen or experienced and a simple "bucket" is insufficient for her long list. She is at her best when surrounded by friends and family which she hopes to rejoin in the near future.